The Great Truck Revolt
by Marshal Davout
Summary: The Troublesome Trucks choose to rebel against the Engines, but it is not to end well for them. K for mild language and Truck abuse


One late night at the Yards in Tidmouth, some trucks were conspiring.

"I'm done with these engines thinking they can force us around." whispered a truck who went by clunky

"Let's all brake in the yard so they can't pull us." said S.C. Uffey, who became the ringleader after Oliver ripped his brother apart

"Spread the word" whispered a goods van named rusthead to the trucks around him.

The next day, Rosie came to shunt some goods trains, but she couldn't move the trucks. She tried pulling, she tried pushing, she tried biffing, she tried bashing, but nothing worked. She resolved to get Edward. Edward tried every trick in the book, but couldn't move the trucks. He decided to get Gordon, Henry, and Murdoch to brute-force the trucks out.

Gordon arrived first. After a very long string of profanity and complaints, he began to pull the trucks. As a result, one tore apart. Next, he tried to push.

Before doing this, he spoke "now I'm going to push, and if you bellends don't let up your brakes you'll get torn apart"

"No, we won't" the trucks chanted "silly old Gordon fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch, fell in a ditch. Silly old Gordon fell in a ditch…"

"That's that, then" Gordon yelled, reaching a Gym-teacher level of anger in his voice. He moved around to the back of the line, and began to push with all his might. The Trucks wouldn't let go, and neither would Gordon. He pushed on, and eventually the truck in front began to break from the stress. Before Gordon realized it, the truck shattered for good with a violent sound. The next car, having been subjected to the forces for longer, snapped quickly, and soon 5 trucks lay broken before the still-shoving Gresley.

Eventually, Gordon tore apart a whole row of trucks, turning them all into piles of wood. The face of one truck remained attached to him, and it was alive despite lacking a body.

"O dearie," it muttered "O dearie"

"That's what bad trucks get," yelled Gordon

The next set of trucks had their wheels covered in vegetable oil, so they slid as Gordon pulled them despite their resistance. This, along with the fact that their leader had just one wall left and was being dragged by Gordon provoked, a feeling of helplessness among the trucks that caused them to collaborate. That day, many goods trains were late, and their engines extremely rough. Fortunately, the trucks were all set to be replaced by new ones from the mainland, under the pretext of "unreliable braking systems".

Every set of trucks was to be crushed at the lumber mill, and have their faces hung up in a gallery along the tracks to the Fat Controller's office, but they weren't told this.

Firstly, Henry, Murdoch, Donald, and Douglas carried all the trucks to Harwick, where they lay on an abandoned stretch of the old line. The trucks could see the bustle of the line, with the engines and new Trucks taunting them as they went along.

Eventually, Gordon was sent to take them to the smelters. Normally he'd be upset about handling trucks, and even throw a fit, but he saw this as a chance for fun. As he approached, be made sure to be loud so the trucks would know it is him that shall carry them to their disembodiment. The trucks no longer had brakes of their own, and thus could not play any tricks. They were at the mercy of Gordon and the new Brakevan, a bloke named Philbert whom Gordon met on the LNER, and who shared Gordon's sadistic streak. The two had coordinated in advance, and chose to deceive the trucks into thinking they were returning to service.

He rolled in, and told the Trucks he would pick which line to take into service based on their operatic singing talent. After the trucks defiled 3 separate operas, Gordon hauled a line, which in fact was predetermined, to be washed-but not like an engine would be. He shunted them until he reached the Harwick reservoir, and dipped them in. This was doable since the old, abandoned line was built before the reservoir, so its tracks ran along the bed of the reservoir. Gordon left them in the pond while he turned around at the Harwick turntable and prepared Philbert **.** When the Trucks that were to stay saw their counterparts dripping wet and topped with plants, they were horrified.

Gordon hauled the wet trucks down the line, while bashing them more than anyone has ever done before. They were chafed, bruised, and humiliated. They didn't play tricks on Gordon knowing that he would kill them if they did. He did play tricks on them. He moved to the back of the train while going up his hill in order to bump them properly and even let them fall freely. The trucks were relieved when they reached Crovan's Gate for what they believed was an overhaul. Imagine their horror when truck by truck, their walls were knocked off their chassis. Their faces, still very much sentient, were cleaned properly, framed, and loaded on new boxcars in a siding. Their bodies were loaded onto some of their still-active comrades, and continued the journey with Gordon.

"Oh no, oh no" whispered the trucks to each other "soon this shall be our fate as well"

"Silly sods" said Gordon, "I can hear you whispering." He biffed them properly and set music. His choice, ironically, was John Lennon's _Imagine_. Gordon bumped them to rhythm, which made them horrified when he switched to his driver's peppy workout music. Gordon promptly switched on his Classical Music collection, calming down the trucks so they were surprised when he suddenly braked at the paper mill, turned around, and started pushing them two-by-two onto the unloading vehicle. Gordon then raced to Harwick to get what sleep he might get that night, and dozed off at his shed


End file.
